


Somethings are better not left unsaid

by Being_part_of_a_Fandom_is_life



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death Fix, Dean In Love, Declarations Of Love, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Spoilers for Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 19:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11630745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Being_part_of_a_Fandom_is_life/pseuds/Being_part_of_a_Fandom_is_life
Summary: Sometimes Death can be a good thing. Atleast for Dean it is. Because for once in his life he finally talked about his feelings and said what he always wanted to say to Cass. Not to mention he had a chick flick moment with Sam. The only problem is Cass is dead. Or is he?





	1. Chapter 1

I watched as Cass came out of from the portal. It took all of my willpower in that moment not to run up to him and wrap my arms around him. 

“Cass” Sam said relief showing in his tone. 

Before I even had the chance to say something or do something to show how happy I was to see him and that he safe. I watched as an angel blade pierced through the middle of his chest, a burst of light illuminating the wound and his eyes. He fell forward crashing to the dirt floor. 

I woke up with a huge gasp. I used my hand and wiped the sweat off my forehead. Sweat was dripping off my forehead and onto my shirt and the sheets. That dream. No Nightmare. Had been a recurring affair every night for the last week ever since that fateful night of his death. I still remember Sam having to drag me to the impala that night. I wouldn’t let go of Cass and I wasn’t going to leave him there. So Sam had to drag both me and him into the car. I wouldn’t even let Sam put a sheet on him. I held him the whole drive back to the bunker. I ended up taking Cass’s lifeless body and laying him on his bed. Hoping that by morning he would come strolling into the library, perfectly healed and alive. That didn’t happen. After the second night, Sam said we had to do something with the body or it would start to rot. He also said it was disrespecting to Cass to just leave his body and not doing anything with it. I knew one thing even though Cass deserved a hunter’s burial. I couldn’t do it. It was too early and the minute I burned the body it would make everything about the situation more real. And I couldn’t deal with real. Real meant that he was gone. Real meant that I would never see him again and I couldn’t deal with that. Sam ended up refrigerating his body, buying me time from the inevitability. 

I got up from that body knowing that I wouldn’t be able to get anymore sleep that night. I only needed four hours anyway. I looked in the mirror and I had never seen myself any worse for wear. My eyes had bags under them and were bloodshot, not to mention puffy from all the crying. I cupped my hands and ran the faucet, using my hands to splash water on my face. I wiped my face with a towel and walked to the kitchen. I started the coffee maker and the clock next to it read 4:00 AM. Sam would be down in two hours for his 6 AM run. Sam had been running on eggshells around me, only staying casual and not trying to ask intimate questions. I didn’t know how much longer Sam could last before he started going all therapist on me. 

I grabbed my cup of coffee and ended to the garage to work on Baby. Working on Baby was the only time my mind would go blank. I started with rebuffing the scratches and some old dents that I had never had the time to take out. I got the bucket with soap and water, and started to clean her exterior. I wanted her to look spotless. So i was going make sure to be precise to not miss a spot. So I wash and wash. The only this time my mind does clear. Flashes of Cass appear in my mind. 

The night we met.

The night he told me that he would do anything I asked and that he would come anytime I would call.

All the nights in purgatory. 

The day he got back from purgatory.

All of those moments came rushing through my mind. Making me fall apart at the seams. 

I dropped the sponge and I crashed to the floor on my knees. Tears pooling form eyelids onto the floor. Heavy sobs wreaking through my body. My chest heaving with each and every sob. I couldn’t stop and I wanted nothing more to. Tears just kept pouring and pouring from my eyes. 

The sound of the garage door opening took me away from my thought and I felt as large set of arms surrounded my body. I didn’t know how long I had been crying but it couldn’t have been long enough for Sam to be awake from his own accord. Meaning that with my crying I must have woken him up. Now along with grief I felt a rush of guild knowing what I was putting Sammy through. 

“You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be just fine.” Sam said rubbing circles on my back.

“No it’s not. Nothing is going to ever be okay again. Nothing is ever going to make this pain go away. Nothing.” I said

“Let’s go your room okay?” Sam said picking me up by shoulders and letting me lean my weight on him. For the second time this week Sam is carrying me. I leaned my weight on him and just let him. We went to my room, and he sat down next to me. 

“I know that you hate doing this but I think it would be for the best. You need to. You need to vent. You can’t keep all of this pain inside Dean or else it will destroy you. “Sam said.

“Did it feel like you couldn’t breathe and that you weren’t living anymore, that you were just going through the motions after Jess’s death. Because right now I want to throw up and scream until my lungs and vocal chords stop working.” I said

“It did. It felt like my whole world ended and that I was on auto-pilot. I had you to help me through it though. “Sam said

“You wanna know what sucks. All the things I’ll never get to tell Cass and all the things I’ll never get to do with him. I’ll never get to hug him again. I’ll never get to fix his tie that always seem to be backwards. I’ll never get to watch him furrow his eyebrows and squint his eyes. I’ll never get to watch the confused expression on his face when he didn’t understand a reference. Then all the things I’ll never get to do. I’ll never get to hold him. Like really hold him. I’ll never get to bury my face in his shoulders. I’ll never get to run my hands through his hair. I’ll never get to kiss him. And worst of them all. I’ll never tell him that I love him. That no one in this entire world dead or alive has ever made feel as special as he did. Sam he gave up everything for me. He gave up everything for me and look what it got me. Years of unrequited love and burnt wings. That’s what he got. “I said

“Dean I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I can do. I don’t know if it will ever be better, but I’m here. I’m here to help you through this.” Sam said

“Sam I think I need a few hours alone. I promise I’ll talk more, I just need a few.” I said

“Okay, I’m gonna go on my run and I’ll be back in an hour.” Sam said getting up and closing the door.

The moment I put my head on the pillow, I drifted to sleep. My head aching from all the crying causing me to fall asleep easy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean says goodbye to Cass.

A week later

“Are you sure you’re okay to go in there by yourself?” Sam said

“I will be fine, Sammy.” I said

“I’m proud of you Dean. You need this it’s the only way you will ever be able to move on and say goodbye.” Sam said.

“I know. I’ll be back soon. “ I said opening the door of the impala and walking to the barn. I looked at the barn and felt a rush of nostalgia. Nine years ago I met him. Who would have thought nine years ago when I first walked into that barn how much my life was going to change. It feels like almost yesterday I entered this Barn with Bobby. Now Bobby was dead and so was the Angel I met that night. 

I carried with me into the barn one of the few pictures I had of him. It was taken by Jody without us knowing. Sam is sitting on the hood, I’m leaning against it and Cass is cracking a joke that has both of us laughing. He was using his new pop culture knowledge to make a reference and instead of falling flat it was downright hilarious. I remember it was the first time in a while that I laughed so hard. I walked through the barn to the exact spot. After all these years I knew the exact spot. I got on my knees and I placed the picture in the center of the spot.

“Cass I might hate chick flick moments and think that they are dumb. But you deserve it. You deserve a cheesy and nostalgic goodbye. You deserve to hear all the things I should have told you when you were alive. No you deserved to have heard all of this when you were alive but I was too much of a coward. But I’m not going to be a coward now. I won’t do that to you. Cass I love you. I don’t know when I started falling for you or what caused me to. I just know that one day I woke up and I knew I had never felt the way I felt about you about anyone. Not Cassie not even Lisa. None of them make me feel the way you do. You make me feel like the greatest person on the world. You make me feel like a hero. You make me worthy of love. You make feel that I deserve to be saved. Not even Sam has made me feel that way. Out of everyone in the world you two are only ones I would die for. Not even Mary she’s not worth it, but you are. Cass you deserve all the love in the world. You deserve a better love than mine. You deserve a person who wasn’t a coward that ended up with you killed. Cass you don’t know how much I wish I died instead of you. The world needs you more than it needs me. I wish that I kissed you. I wish I told you when you alive how much you mean to me and that I can’t count how many times I would have died if it weren’t for you. I wish I told you that hearing about your night of hedonism made me want to kill that girl over and over again. That seeing you kiss Meg made my blood boil, and seeing you with Daphne killed me. That when I told you leave the bunker when Sam was sharing a body with Ezekiel how much I wanted you to stay. That I wish and pray to Chuck I could have one more day with you. We could go to Rufus’s cabin, and I could teach you to fish. We could sit on the dock and just watch the waves, enjoying each other’s company. God how much I wish you were here. “I said tears brimming and threatening to spill from my eyes.

I heard a crash come deeper in the barn. I turn around expecting to see Sam but it’s not him. It’s the one person in the world who makes me like chick flick moments. 

“Cass? Is that you?” I said

“I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” Cass said with a smirk playing on his lips. 

Not allowing my mind to control my body before I could overthink what I was doing, I ran forward. I grabbed Castiel by the lapels of his trench coat and kissed him. 

It felt as if the whole world disappeared and all that mattered was to keep his lips on mine. His lips tasted like honey and it was an addicting drug which I can’t enough of. All I want for the rest of my life is to kiss him and only him. We broke away so I could catch my breath. 

“How are you here?” I said resting my forehead on his. His piercing blue eyes locked on my mine.

He broke away so he could talk.

“When I died I was sent to this blankness of nothingness and out of nowhere there was a light. A light I felt drawn to. As I walked closer and closer I saw flashes. Flashes of moments throughout my life. The thing was all the flashes were recent. All of them were moments in the past nine years. All of them were of you, Sam, Bobby, Charlie, Kevin, even Crowley. What I didn’t see was my brothers and sisters. I didn’t see heaven. I didn’t see all my years fighting along-side them. I didn’t see any of that. I only saw my time with you. My life with you. My life with Team Free Will. I don’t know how long these flashes lasted but after a long time I was in this blank white room. I was greeted by Chuck. He told me that I had been dead for 7 days, and that he was willing to give me a choice. He said I could be sent to my personal heavens and I could relive my greatest moments for the rest of my life. Or he could bring me back one more time.” Cass said

“Why would you choose this over heaven?” I said 

“Because that isn’t Heaven, this is. Being with you and Sam here on Earth. Fighting monsters making the world a better place that’s Heaven. Atleast for me. I rather have the real you. Not the heaven version you especially knowing that the real you is down here fighting the good fight. I couldn’t do that. Especially to my family.” Castiel said 

Tears started brimming at my eyes again but this time out of happiness. 

“There is something else you should know. I’m no longer an angel anymore.” Castiel said

“You’re human?” I said

“Dean before I made my decision I wanted to see how you were doing. Seeing if you truly needed me. When I saw you felt the same way I do. I knew that for us to have the life we both wanted and deserved, I shouldn’t be an Angel. I should be human with you.” Castiel said

“I just don’t get how you could do this” I said

“It’s easy. I love you Dean Winchester. I fell in love with you the moment I raised you from perdition. If being human means I get to spend and numbered of years growing old with you. It’s worth it. Because in all 2,000 years, you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. So if you will have me, I’m all yours. “Castiel said

“I love you too and I will always need you Castiel. I’m sorry it took so long but of course I will have. Only if you accept that I am as much yours as much as you are mine.” I said

“I accept and I would wait another nine years and longer if it meant I could be with you.” Castiel said

“Well you won’t have to wait any longer.” I said walking forward. I went and placed a kiss on his forehead before wrapping my arms around burying my face in his shoulder. For the first time I felt safe and happy, and not to mention whole heartedly loved.


	3. Epilogue

A year later

“Dean what are we doing here?” Cass said turning and furrowing his eyebrows.

“I was thinking we don’t have many memories for the two of us that are in the same location. Unless we’re counting the bunker but that place is not very romantic.” I said 

“You do realize that was very vague.” Cass said

“Yeah I know but I don’t want to ruin the surprise. Just wait one minute and all will be revealed.” I said.

“Okay.” Cass said

An alarm started blaring off my phone, ShowTime.

“Do you know what today is?” I said

“It’s September 27th. “ Cass said 

“Not anymore, look at your watch.” I said. 

“It’s 12:00 which means its September 28th.” Cass said

“The day we met. “ I said 

“So for our 10 year anniversary you took me to the place we met, how romantic of you.” Cass said

“Yeah well, you bring that side me out. But there is something I do need to ask you.” I said

“And what might that be.” Cass said

“I think we both know how much I care for and how much I love you. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you and you wouldn’t do for me. I would have to say I never believed in soulmates until I met you. Cass you changed my view on so many things. Faith. Love. Family. I owe you for helping make me better man. An honest one.” I said.

I looked at him, and kissed him on the cheek. I got down on one knee, taking the box out of my pocket.

“So Castiel will you do me the honor and marry me?” I said looking up

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Of Course I’ll marry you.” Cass said getting on the floor and hugging me tightly.

“I and Sam kinda guessed your ring size, so we can get it resized if it doesn’t fit.” I said taking the ring out of the box and grabbing Castiel hand. I slid the brown and silver ban onto his ring finger. It was a perfect fit.

“It fits perfectly, I love it and I love you. “ Cass said

“I love you too Cass. You are my everything. “I said

“As well as mine. So how about we head home?” Cass said 

“Yeah let’s head home.” I said grabbing his hand and started to walk towards Baby. For once in my life everything was perfect and no monster, demon, angel, Lucifer, not even God could ruin it for me.


End file.
